10/19/14

Six months in Hollywood is the longest I've been anywhere since college.

I spend my weekends at the beach or hating myself.

T/F offered me $4000 to work for five months and when I rejected it immediately required who ever is taking my spot to only be around for two. They blamed me. I realized recently it was the equivalent to when I last saw my dad and he gave me $60. He's never paid child support or anything.  These people are literally telling me I am not worth that much.

I invested too much of me into T/F. Now look what I'm left with? Not to say that technically things are going just fine for me. But I can't talk to any of them anymore. I feel like such an outsider. When I left Missouri my grandmother told me my boss wasn't my dad. It was weird comment. Then there's Frank who said we're just friends after I flipped on him not telling me he has two kids. Considering we've known each other for four years.

My family spend last thanksgiving at a casino. It all crumbled. Tradition. The things I'm use to. Comfort. I'm lucky if my mom can pull herself away from PTA or scouting or what not to text me once every two weeks.

I still want to shake Curtis and tell him how wrong he was even though it wouldn't amount to anything. My friends were right in reminding me that just because he has cancer doesn't mean he's not a jerk. After I wished him well it was clear he still is.

Nick got married. Is it too late to tell his fiance how much of a creep he was?

If I could have anything I wanted in the world I'm not sure what I would ask for. Unlimited freedom is still scary.  I miss my guitar.

Im suppose to find out tomorrow if I go on tour. My friend asked me to work on Tokyo Dinsey special effects..we'll see how it plays out