I'm enjoying life.
Work was crazy yesterday. My left hand would be doing something while my right hand does something else. My boss's boss had to leave for a few days so she gave me more responsibilities. It's nice that they trust me so much. She says she's willing to pass the torch to me anytime. Last night this girl who works with all our talent said she can tell I'm good at my job. I mentioned I would love to help her out and our head person looks at me saying they would never give me up. Soo it's nice that my office loves me, but I hope its not holding me back. I am still learning a lot though. Aftra and Sag and DGA contracts oh my. And the guy I work for is really good at his job too. I work with a lot of bosses that love their team. I am really lucky.
I don't think I really mentioned going to see Murder Ballad last weekend. I saw Rebecca before she went on. I love watching her. She played the Narrator who tells us that someone is going to die. For the most part she's watching this love triangle happen until the end. When she starts becoming part of the story you realize that she's with one of the guys. But she doesn't matter to him which is why she isn't included before. She starts asking what the audience would do if someone erased you. I just smirked really. She was the murderer. To be sitting here relating to this. That's life though, you know. Art's enjoyable when you can connect with it. She's one of the only actors that could even make me want to slightly do what they do. She's just really great at her job. I could listen to her sing forever. And she's goofy. It's the best. Sometimes we have to go through things to get to the point we are at in the present. I'm in a really good spot.
Last night was the first night out with the team. It was a Christmas in July party. I like going out with the people I work with. They all liked how I dressed. Said it was unlike me. I guess. They played Nelly = )
On the walk home I thought I'd leave a rambley message on my friend's machine (now I feel old realizing it's not really "the machine" I mean cell phones are machines..) but he answered. He wouldn't hang up until I was home and I accidentally walked to Central Park before I went home. It was nice though. Getting to know someone is a new experience for me and it's nice. And he's super honest and open and I enjoy communicating. Conversation is a dying art form.
It's very hot here.I think I will break out the oil pastels again. Hopefully they don't melt.
Mad Love and Whiskey
Lex
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Radiohead
I am working from 8-8 these days. Luckily I work with people who are more friends than coworkers. And its in Radio City Music Hall sooo the theater geek in me feels happy no matter what. I never tried to get myself here. Maybe that's a lie. I can't decide how much effort I put into my career because it comes naturally to me.
My boss told me to put something on my list and when I said it was already there he teased me. Now he knows not to question my on-top-of-itness.
I feel different here. I mean, Im lucky that my place is so close to work. I get to enjoy my walk to work and walk past all these amazing theaters.I don't have time to rattle around within my head. There's no drama.
Email from Telluride. I officially have my flights booked! It means a lot to me that they are taking care of my travel now. It's full circle from having to get myself there the first year. I remember the interview for the job. I was crossing a street in California to catch a greyhound after tour and the guy kept asking me these bizarre interview questions. It seems like not that long ago but so much has happened since then. I do miss 4 live shows which bums me out and I know my bosses will be frustrated that Im gone for a week but luckily they understand. Im lucky to always work with such amazing people.
A guy from an old job sent me a text to night. Not sure why. It's always the wrong people that get me stuck in their heads. I always worry they just like me because of my career.
Mk. Nuff computer time.
Mad Love and all the stars
Lex
My boss told me to put something on my list and when I said it was already there he teased me. Now he knows not to question my on-top-of-itness.
I feel different here. I mean, Im lucky that my place is so close to work. I get to enjoy my walk to work and walk past all these amazing theaters.I don't have time to rattle around within my head. There's no drama.
Email from Telluride. I officially have my flights booked! It means a lot to me that they are taking care of my travel now. It's full circle from having to get myself there the first year. I remember the interview for the job. I was crossing a street in California to catch a greyhound after tour and the guy kept asking me these bizarre interview questions. It seems like not that long ago but so much has happened since then. I do miss 4 live shows which bums me out and I know my bosses will be frustrated that Im gone for a week but luckily they understand. Im lucky to always work with such amazing people.
A guy from an old job sent me a text to night. Not sure why. It's always the wrong people that get me stuck in their heads. I always worry they just like me because of my career.
Mk. Nuff computer time.
Mad Love and all the stars
Lex
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Brass Band
Once again Im in a hurry writing this.
Yesterday I spent all day with the Rooftop kids. I should really post pictures. We showed a doc about brass bands next to the water. It was right next to where the World Trade Towers were. I couldn't stop staring at the new building. The city has been engulfed by clouds for awhile now. Very gothem-esque.
I love working with volunteers. Everyone is so open and friendly generally. It was weird for me too. Everyone there who may of only worked a week with me a year ago were saying super nice things about me to everyone. I feel like I don't deserve the praise. I know I should learn to accept compliments. Working on it.
It was just so beautiful today.
Now Im off to grocery shop, draw in the park and see a friend in an awesome musical. Should be good.
I think its funny New Yorkers think Im crazy for walking everywhere.
Mad Love
L
Yesterday I spent all day with the Rooftop kids. I should really post pictures. We showed a doc about brass bands next to the water. It was right next to where the World Trade Towers were. I couldn't stop staring at the new building. The city has been engulfed by clouds for awhile now. Very gothem-esque.
I love working with volunteers. Everyone is so open and friendly generally. It was weird for me too. Everyone there who may of only worked a week with me a year ago were saying super nice things about me to everyone. I feel like I don't deserve the praise. I know I should learn to accept compliments. Working on it.
It was just so beautiful today.
Now Im off to grocery shop, draw in the park and see a friend in an awesome musical. Should be good.
I think its funny New Yorkers think Im crazy for walking everywhere.
Mad Love
L
Friday, July 12, 2013
Go for L
Ohhh NYC.
Trying to meet up with people. Oddly enough, Twitter is an interesting source of meeting interesting people accidentally. Ran into my friend on the street the first day working at Radio City. His tv show premiered that night too. Hadn't seen him since we were on tour.
Work has been slow. Its a good lesson for me though. I only feel useful running on high and I need to take the time to enjoy the slower times too. Also shaking off the feeling of feeling too broke. Cause I have money, just don't like spending it.
Men here are interesting. The first day someone returned my wallet, another carried my luggage and another struck up a nice conversation on the train. Not to say theyre all gentleman, Ive seen more guys look girls up and down too. Guess you can't have it all.
All in all it's nice staying busy. Tomorrow I get to go work for Rooftop Films. Excited to work with my Tribeca Family again.
A coworker said he didn't trust me because I have innocent eyes. Whatever that means.
Trying to meet up with people. Oddly enough, Twitter is an interesting source of meeting interesting people accidentally. Ran into my friend on the street the first day working at Radio City. His tv show premiered that night too. Hadn't seen him since we were on tour.
Work has been slow. Its a good lesson for me though. I only feel useful running on high and I need to take the time to enjoy the slower times too. Also shaking off the feeling of feeling too broke. Cause I have money, just don't like spending it.
Men here are interesting. The first day someone returned my wallet, another carried my luggage and another struck up a nice conversation on the train. Not to say theyre all gentleman, Ive seen more guys look girls up and down too. Guess you can't have it all.
All in all it's nice staying busy. Tomorrow I get to go work for Rooftop Films. Excited to work with my Tribeca Family again.
A coworker said he didn't trust me because I have innocent eyes. Whatever that means.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Here I Go Again
I feel good.
I like feeling good this late at night because in the past- and I'm sure the future- it's so easy to feel lonely. I am always in a strange place you know? With people who are coworkers and friends but not with anyone looking out specifically for me.
I think NYC will feel good. There's a sense of fearlessness. You have to project fearlessness in a city so you don't get mugged or whatever.
I wish I would write these things when I am less distracted. Anyway.
Twice this week my friends have told me I don't seem like I want a relationship. Because of the traveling. They think friends with benefits fits my lifestyle better. I think everyone focuses on the "benefits" part of that phrase and not the friends part. That's the part I like.
I do think about the future. A lot. More so than people may think with my lifestyle. I think the things I'm doing will help me. I just don't know what it all means yet.
I want to be more confident in what I am doing. And speak up for myself more.
I packed my watercolors and oil pastels for NYC. I know Im in a balanced place when I can create art.
When I was done packing I wrote the perfect letter in my head to him and realized it's more for me. He doesn't need it. I feel closer to love when I can forgive things that have happened in the past. I mean, yeah- its a good thing for him too but really its for me. People aren't perfect. They don't know where their life is going to lead. While I don't know specifically where my life will go after this. I think deep down I do know whats going on. And when it's time, it will be time.
I should really start writing better here.
Mad Love
L
I like feeling good this late at night because in the past- and I'm sure the future- it's so easy to feel lonely. I am always in a strange place you know? With people who are coworkers and friends but not with anyone looking out specifically for me.
I think NYC will feel good. There's a sense of fearlessness. You have to project fearlessness in a city so you don't get mugged or whatever.
I wish I would write these things when I am less distracted. Anyway.
Twice this week my friends have told me I don't seem like I want a relationship. Because of the traveling. They think friends with benefits fits my lifestyle better. I think everyone focuses on the "benefits" part of that phrase and not the friends part. That's the part I like.
I do think about the future. A lot. More so than people may think with my lifestyle. I think the things I'm doing will help me. I just don't know what it all means yet.
I want to be more confident in what I am doing. And speak up for myself more.
I packed my watercolors and oil pastels for NYC. I know Im in a balanced place when I can create art.
When I was done packing I wrote the perfect letter in my head to him and realized it's more for me. He doesn't need it. I feel closer to love when I can forgive things that have happened in the past. I mean, yeah- its a good thing for him too but really its for me. People aren't perfect. They don't know where their life is going to lead. While I don't know specifically where my life will go after this. I think deep down I do know whats going on. And when it's time, it will be time.
I should really start writing better here.
Mad Love
L
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Splendid
I don't want to die. Not for like, the usual reasons. Like maybe it will be painful or something. I mean, yes, I'm terrified. But it's the after effects. The people going on with their lives. The people fighting over your stuff.
That's what I hate. More than the sadness, I hate the fighting it seems to lead to.
Bud Light Lime a Ritas are nasty. So is ice cream made with splenda. I didn't mean to buy the ice cream but it was the only vanilla based ice cream with chocolate in it. Now I am all sticky.
Fuck! You know?
Sean in his own way, not trying to be mean, called me hard to talk to and difficult and passionless and indirect yesterday. I opened an okcupid profile and it said my best country is Switzerland. So Sean was right.
I need to speak up. Everyone always things they're 100% right and they are entitled to that but, god, I always see all these different sides to things. Empathizing with people. Ugh.
What am I doing?
That's what I hate. More than the sadness, I hate the fighting it seems to lead to.
Bud Light Lime a Ritas are nasty. So is ice cream made with splenda. I didn't mean to buy the ice cream but it was the only vanilla based ice cream with chocolate in it. Now I am all sticky.
Fuck! You know?
Sean in his own way, not trying to be mean, called me hard to talk to and difficult and passionless and indirect yesterday. I opened an okcupid profile and it said my best country is Switzerland. So Sean was right.
I need to speak up. Everyone always things they're 100% right and they are entitled to that but, god, I always see all these different sides to things. Empathizing with people. Ugh.
What am I doing?
#lexandthecity
A boy made me cry yesterday. It was dumb.
I haven't seen him in two months and won't see him for another three so he penciled me in for an hour and a half of being social. Before I got there he was calling me indirect and asking if I really even wanted to grab a drink via text. Then he brought a coworker along, which he's done in the past and I asked for a warning about. He then proceeded to tell me I'm passionless, indifferent, difficult to talk to and asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. All which made me feel uncomfortable and his friend kept asking me if he could buy me a shot to loosen me up. Finally I just walked out.
He said I took things wrong and he wasn't trying to be offensive. At some point I'm allowed to feel how I want to feel whether or not someone intended for me to feel that way. Right?
NYC is in a few days. If ever there were a city to drown your sorrows in...
It's funny, I thought the past few days would be amazing. Fireworks at my roomies 63 annual 4th party were awesome. Yesterday I spent time on our lake. Watching the fish and seeing our turtle family has a new family member. Nature always makes me happy. It's so simple and it works. No babymamadrama or what not.
My brother also spent half an hour talking me through solving a rubiks cube the other day. I was amused by that. Makes me think he'll turn out decent in the end.
I'll get there. Slowly but surely.
I haven't seen him in two months and won't see him for another three so he penciled me in for an hour and a half of being social. Before I got there he was calling me indirect and asking if I really even wanted to grab a drink via text. Then he brought a coworker along, which he's done in the past and I asked for a warning about. He then proceeded to tell me I'm passionless, indifferent, difficult to talk to and asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. All which made me feel uncomfortable and his friend kept asking me if he could buy me a shot to loosen me up. Finally I just walked out.
He said I took things wrong and he wasn't trying to be offensive. At some point I'm allowed to feel how I want to feel whether or not someone intended for me to feel that way. Right?
NYC is in a few days. If ever there were a city to drown your sorrows in...
It's funny, I thought the past few days would be amazing. Fireworks at my roomies 63 annual 4th party were awesome. Yesterday I spent time on our lake. Watching the fish and seeing our turtle family has a new family member. Nature always makes me happy. It's so simple and it works. No babymamadrama or what not.
My brother also spent half an hour talking me through solving a rubiks cube the other day. I was amused by that. Makes me think he'll turn out decent in the end.
I'll get there. Slowly but surely.
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